Have you ever had a conversation with someone and after the conversation was over, you suddenly realize that you have just been manipulated by a Puppeteer Personality?
This type of individual is devious, and the only goal is to “control” the situation or you! A person who is manipulating can be anyone, but you can “spot” a manipulator by certain characteristics. The person is usually egotistical, even though deep down they are insecure. They are controlling. They will use any tactic that has worked in the past to control other people. They may be more subtle by using passive aggression, guilt trips, and persuasion or more obvious, such as yelling, throwing, and even physical abuse. You can tell when you have come face-to-face with a by a Puppeteer Personality when you are feeling negative about yourself just by talking to the other person, when in most cases, you don’t. On the other hand, you may find the interaction with a manipulator to be a positive one. He/she may have tried to charm you and shower you with compliments. However, you soon realize that you gave into something you did NOT want to do or did NOT agree with in the first place, and you have just been manipulated! The outcome is always negative.
It is necessary to point out that there is a difference between being manipulated and being influenced. Maybe the person wants you to see a movie that you did not intend on seeing, but you changed your mind. This may not have been manipulation. Think to yourself: Did you agree to change your mind? Did you agree to the person’s idea, willingly? Was the person willing to accept your opinion? Did it have a positive outcome? If you were given respect from the other person, you were NOT being manipulated? Here’s a chart to compare the two:
However, there are cases when the person may NOT even realize he/she is trying to manipulate, because that has been the only way the person has learned to interact in that situation. They may have had an unhealthy childhood or very dysfunctional relationships. You can have empathy for this person, but keep it at a distance. Manipulators also use sympathy as a means of getting what they want. Manipulation is not excusable and STILL should not be tolerated, because the outcome is still the same. “Be cautious of their behavior because they are attackers of the mind.”
Moreover, the same person who has manipulated may NOT manipulate in all situations, it may be a specific situation that TRIGGERS him/her to go into MANIPULATION MODE. A manipulator is not necessarily an overall deceitful person. He/She may have found that it’s the only way to cope through life. An individual who manipulates may feel desperate and have something to hide within themselves that they don’t want revealed! The goal is to say “NO” to the MANIPULATION he/she is using!
Main Methods Used in Emotional Manipulation: (Thumbs Down)
Controlling Another Person or People
Provoking Fear of Rejection
Plays the “Victim” Role to Gain Sympathy
“Spinning” a Situation in Their Favor
Uses Selective Inattention (Plays Dumb)
Rationalizes
Turns Blame toward Another Person
Applies Covert Intimidation-Subtle Threatening
Exercises Guilt-Tripping Techniques (Tries to Make One Feel Guilty)
Shames-Uses Sarcasm and Self-Righteousness to Manipulate Another Person
Plays the Servant Role-Appear to Take on a Noble Cause
Seduces-Lures Others into Their Point of View with Praise or Charm
Avoids a Direct Answer
Diverts an Uncomfortable Topic by Changing the Subject
Rouses the Person to the Point of Becoming Defensive
Villainizes the Person (Triggering Feelings from the Other Person that He/She is the “Bad Guy”)
Not Inhibited by Their Own Behavior
Uses Half-Truths and Mixes it with Lies
Is Hiding Their Own Fears
Dismisses the Severity of Their Own Actions
Gradually Uses Small Acts of Abuse So It Becomes “Tolerable”
Turns a Person’s Focus on their “Better” Traits as an Excuse to Tolerate the Abuse
Enjoys the Misery of Others
Plays as Vulnerable to Get Sympathy
Uses Fear Techniques and Targets Upon the Fear of the Person (for example, fear of rejection, fear of loss, etc.)
The Nonverbal Behavior Contradicts the Verbal Behavior
Displays Passive Aggressive Behavior
Uses Intimidation and Demands Conditions to Sway a Person
Some of us may have used these tactics, but those who use these tactics on a regular basis are the “true” manipulators. If the person uses at least 3 of these techniques, he/she is trying to manipulate you in some way! It may be moderate or severe. However, do NOT become a victim to these “manipulation methods”.
How to Deal with Manipulators: (Thumbs Up)
USE SSR (STOP, STEP BACK, and RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION)
CALL OUT the Manipulator-For Example, “Why Are You Trying to Manipulate Me?” (Maybe He/She is Really Trying to Say Something Else)
Avoid Getting Angry, Because Manipulators Thrive on This and Will Use It Against You
Let the Manipulator Know How His/Her Actions Make You Feel (Some People Don’t Realize They Are Actually Manipulating)
Put Distance Between Yourself and the “Manipulator”, If Possible
Refuse to Discuss “Trigger” Topics with the Manipulator
If the Manipulator Has Apologized, Pay Close Attention to His/Her Words, It May Not Be An Apology At All!
Set Boundaries
Do Not Comply with His/Her Demands or Wishes.
Say “No” and Stop the Discussion
Stand Your Ground Or Just Walk Away
Remember You Have the Right to Have Your Own Opinions and Decisions
Know That You Don’t HAVE to Justify All Your Decisions and Opinions
Be Aware That Manipulators Thrive on “Control”
Stay on Topic
If It is Not Feasible To Keep Your Distance with This Person, Do NOT Face the Person Alone
Understand That Some Cannot Be Reasoned With, So Don’t Bother
TRUST Your Gut. TRUST Your Senses
Don’t Try to Change Your Manipulator
Work On Protecting Yourself
Improve Your Skills in Decision-Making, Being Assertive and Guarding Your Mind from Manipulative Lies.
Let Go and Set Yourself Free and Do Not Be a Puppet to the Puppeteer Personality!
No Need to HATE The Manipulator, Thank Them for Helping to Make You STRONGER!
Pictures By Flickr Folks and Morgue Free Files
Link: Socyberty
The Music video is by Kelly Clarkson performing “Stronger”
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!
