Have you ever had a conversation with someone and after the conversation was over, you suddenly realize that you have just been manipulated by a Puppeteer Personality?

This type of individual is devious, and the only goal is to “control” the situation or you! A person who is manipulating can be anyone, but you can “spot” a manipulator by certain characteristics. The person is usually egotistical, even though deep down they are insecure. They are controlling. They will use any tactic that has worked in the past to control other people. They may be more subtle by using passive aggression, guilt trips, and persuasion or more obvious, such as yelling, throwing, and even physical abuse. You can tell when you have come face-to-face with a by a Puppeteer Personality when you are feeling negative about yourself just by talking to the other person, when in most cases, you don’t. On the other hand, you may find the interaction with a manipulator to be a positive one. He/she may have tried to charm you and shower you with compliments. However, you soon realize that you gave into something you did NOT want to do or did NOT agree with in the first place, and you have just been manipulated! The outcome is always negative.

It is necessary to point out that there is a difference between being manipulated and being influenced. Maybe the person wants you to see a movie that you did not intend on seeing, but you changed your mind. This may not have been manipulation. Think to yourself: Did you agree to change your mind? Did you agree to the person’s idea, willingly? Was the person willing to accept your opinion? Did it have a positive outcome? If you were given respect from the other person, you were NOT being manipulated? Here’s a chart to compare the two:

However, there are cases when the person may NOT even realize he/she is trying to manipulate, because that has been the only way the person has learned to interact in that situation. They may have had an unhealthy childhood or very dysfunctional relationships. You can have empathy for this person, but keep it at a distance. Manipulators also use sympathy as a means of getting what they want. Manipulation is not excusable and STILL should not be tolerated, because the outcome is still the same. “Be cautious of their behavior because they are attackers of the mind.”

Moreover, the same person who has manipulated may NOT manipulate in all situations, it may be a specific situation that TRIGGERS him/her to go into MANIPULATION MODE. A manipulator is not necessarily an overall deceitful person. He/She may have found that it’s the only way to cope through life. An individual who manipulates may feel desperate and have something to hide within themselves that they don’t want revealed! The goal is to say “NO” to the MANIPULATION he/she is using!

Main Methods Used in Emotional Manipulation:  (Thumbs Down)

Controlling Another Person or People

Provoking Fear of Rejection

Plays the “Victim” Role to Gain Sympathy

 “Spinning” a Situation in Their Favor

Uses Selective Inattention (Plays Dumb)

Rationalizes

Turns Blame toward Another Person

Applies Covert Intimidation-Subtle Threatening

Exercises Guilt-Tripping Techniques (Tries to Make One Feel Guilty)

Shames-Uses Sarcasm and Self-Righteousness to Manipulate Another Person

Plays the Servant Role-Appear to Take on a Noble Cause

Seduces-Lures Others into Their Point of View with Praise or Charm

Avoids a Direct Answer

Diverts an Uncomfortable Topic by Changing the Subject

Rouses the Person to the Point of Becoming Defensive

Villainizes the Person (Triggering Feelings from the Other Person that He/She is the “Bad Guy”)

Not Inhibited by Their Own Behavior

Uses Half-Truths and Mixes it with Lies

Is Hiding Their Own Fears

Dismisses the Severity of Their Own Actions

Gradually Uses Small Acts of Abuse So It Becomes “Tolerable”

Turns a Person’s Focus on their “Better” Traits as an Excuse to Tolerate the Abuse

Enjoys the Misery of Others

Plays as Vulnerable to Get Sympathy

Uses Fear Techniques and Targets Upon the Fear of the Person (for example, fear of rejection, fear of loss, etc.)

The Nonverbal Behavior Contradicts the Verbal Behavior

Displays Passive Aggressive Behavior

Uses Intimidation and Demands Conditions to Sway a Person

Some of us may have used these tactics, but those who use these tactics on a regular basis are the “true” manipulators. If the person uses at least 3 of these techniques, he/she is trying to manipulate you in some way! It may be moderate or severe. However, do NOT become a victim to these “manipulation methods”.

How to Deal with Manipulators: (Thumbs Up)

USE SSR (STOP, STEP BACK, and RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION)

CALL OUT the Manipulator-For Example, “Why Are You Trying to Manipulate Me?” (Maybe He/She is Really Trying to Say Something Else)

Avoid Getting Angry, Because Manipulators Thrive on This and Will Use It Against You

Let the Manipulator Know How His/Her Actions Make You Feel (Some People Don’t Realize They Are Actually Manipulating)

Put Distance Between Yourself and the “Manipulator”, If Possible

Refuse to Discuss “Trigger” Topics with the Manipulator

If the Manipulator Has Apologized, Pay Close Attention to His/Her Words, It May Not Be An Apology At All!

Set Boundaries

Do Not Comply with His/Her Demands or Wishes.

Say “No” and Stop the Discussion

Stand Your Ground Or Just Walk Away

Remember You Have the Right to Have Your Own Opinions and Decisions

Know That You Don’t HAVE to Justify All Your Decisions and Opinions

Be Aware That Manipulators Thrive on “Control”

Stay on Topic

If It is Not Feasible To Keep Your Distance with This Person, Do NOT Face the Person Alone

Understand That Some Cannot Be Reasoned With, So Don’t Bother

TRUST Your Gut. TRUST Your Senses

Don’t Try to Change Your Manipulator

Work On Protecting Yourself

Improve Your Skills in Decision-Making, Being Assertive and Guarding Your Mind from Manipulative Lies.

Let Go and Set Yourself Free and Do Not Be a Puppet to the Puppeteer Personality!

No Need to HATE The Manipulator, Thank Them for Helping to Make You STRONGER!

Pictures By Flickr Folks and Morgue Free Files

Link: Socyberty

The Music video is by Kelly Clarkson performing “Stronger”

YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!

2012 was a dreadful and dramatic year with unpredictable events. It was also a year with generosity and good will.

“Episodes of the 2012 Era “

At my workplace, we found out that a family of four cannot afford to have Christmas this year. We cannot let this happen! We want to Help this Family have a Christmas and we would like you to help, if you can. Please click on the donate button. ANY donation makes a difference! Anyway, isn’t that what Christmas is all about!

Hurricane Sandy Victims are still struggling to get their lives back together, and many are still without electricity.

Thousands of people still need many donations, such as:

• clean water,
• a livable home,
• a toothbrush,
• children’s toys,
• books,
• toiletries,
• bedding,
• towels,
• blankets,
• sleeping bags,
• air mattresses with air pumps,
• camping supplies,
• infant and senior care items,
• small tools,
• non-perishable foods,
• paper towels & toilet paper,
• laundry detergent,
• brooms,
• rakes,
• mops,
• shovels,
• shop vacs,
• box fans,
• first aid items,
• pet supplies,
• flashlights & lanterns,
• batteries,
• portable generators,
• and tarps, etc.

New and used, clean items are welcome. Please put items in plastic bags, boxes or plastic bins clearly labeled as to the contents. If possible, sort the items into categories such as women’s clothing, children’s clothing, and put in separate, labeled bags/boxes.

You can also help Superstorm Sandy survivors by making a monetary donation through iTunes to the American Red Cross. Or text the word REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation. For non-U.S. residents who want to help, please visit The Red Cross

You can also donate to The Salvation Army Disaster Relief Efforts.

If you live in the NJ or NY area and want to donate goods, find your local drop off places here (map).

OR Here at the Hurricane Sandy Relief Stations.

Pictures by Vilseskogen & RobertFrancis

The Declaration of Independence: A Transcription

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed…

More here: Declaration of Independence

Sources: Pictures by Flickr Folk, praline3001-Music by Krista Branch-”Declaration of Independence” Transcript by the National Archives

 The whisper that’s like a gentle  breeze

 Her words as soothing as a robin bird

 Love surrounds you like a willow tree

 All from the one I call mother

 She treasures each and every child

 As if they were priceless gems

 In our times of joy, she smiled

 In times of woe, her shoulder she lends.

 But when we chose to behave badly

 She knew how to help us make it right

 When we did well, she’d praise us gladly.

 When others wronged us, she’d help us fight!

 When we went through good times or bad,

 We knew mother’s love was always there.

 With our mother, we are blessed and glad

 To have someone so precious and rare!

When life gets you down, and you’re feeling low, just know that you’re not alone. Don’t give up, because someone, somewhere, has been where you are now and you CAN make it through this! God brings people into your life to help bring you back up again. So, reach out to your loved ones; pray; meditate; take the time you need to feel. Then, brush it all off, get up, and smile, tomorrow is on its way!

Dr Seuss was always a favorite of mine when I was younger, and still is, now that I’m older. Here’s my favorite Dr. Seuss video, (from You Tuber-andreasproehl) full of quotes from his books! Like this one, “You have brains in your head; You have feet in your shoes; You can steer yourself any direction you choose!”

Picture By MicroBry at Filckr

“Faith is seeing the impossible to be possible. Faith is taking the extra step towards your dreams and making it a reality. Faith is seeing the challenges you faced every day as a stepping stone towards your success. Faith is not to give when the mountain looks too high to climb”~From Daily Nuggets of Wisdom

“Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to”~George Seaton

“Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.”~Kahlil Gibran

“Faith is like electricity. You can’t see it, but you can see the light.”

“Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.”~Oswald Chambers

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”~ Hebrews 11:1

“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”~Matthew 17:20